(To celebrate the launch of ‘The Night Before Christmas‘, I’ve a SIGNED (and wrapped in Christmas paper) copy to give away at the end of this post)

All Lydia’s ever wanted is a perfect Christmas…

So when her oldest friends invite her to spend the holidays with them, it seems like a dream come true. She’s been promised log fires, roasted chestnuts, her own weight in mince pies – all in a setting that looks like something out of a Christmas card.

But her winter wonderland is ruined when she finds herself snowed in with her current boyfriend, her old flame and a hunky stranger. Well, three (wise) men is traditional at this time of year…

The cold weather is upon us, Christmas is a mere 18 DAYS away and so what better time to offer this festive giveaway! And Scarlett Bailey’s debut is a PERFECT book for this time of year. I LOVE that it is truly and absolutely set in the Christmas period (books that use ‘Christmas’ but don’t embrace it are a pet hate!) and that the pages are brimming with festivity. This is a novel to snuggle down with, to juggle with a mug of hot chocolate and a tin of Quality Street. I can promise that you’ll be left with a Christmassy warm glow.

Romantic, funny and packed with likeable characters – what are you waiting for? I absolutely recommend ‘The Night Before Christmas’ to you all.

Talking to Scarlett:

What are your top 3 Christmas films? My top three Christmas films are ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’, what’s not to love the gorgeous James Stewart talking to a Christmas angel! ‘Miracle on 34th Street’, obviously Santa is real, duh… and ‘Holiday Inn’ which is actually quite a terrible film, but its got Bing singing ‘White Christmas’, which is my all time most favourite Christmas song. I do have to add a cheeky shout out to ‘Elf’, best Christmas film of recent years, love it.

And your all time favourite 3 Christmas songs? Oh, well ‘White Christmas’ (by Bing) that man had the touch, his vocal stylings always bring a tear to the eye, ‘Fairy Tale in New York’, for a song that is basically about bitterness and recrimination it’s awfully festive, and ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’, sung by Jude Garland, which also brings a tear to the eye. Come to think of it, I’m a bit maudlin aren’t I? Pass the whiskey….

What will you be wishing for this Christmas? A life size chocolate model of Johnny Depp that comes alive when no-one else but me is around. OR an iPad. I think Magic Johnny Depp is a more realistic prospect.

Do you prefer a mince pie, Christmas cake or a dollop of sherry trifle? None of those things, I’m not a fan of fruit, even when its soaked in alcohol. I like a Chocolate Fudge Yule log (must include plastic robin and holly leaves) with a glass of Bailey’s on the side.

Will your Christmas tree be decorated in all one colour or a mix of memories? It will be festooned in tinsel, lots of cheap, nasty, sparkly tat, extending all the way back to my childhood, including the most vile, slutty 1970s Christmas fairy you have ever seen, but which I would not part with.  I’m not a fan of wicker, twiggy, ginghamy, dried oranges, so called tasteful decorations. I think a tree should look like a Slade Christmas single in physical form.

Which 3 people would you like to spend Christmas with (living or dead)? Hmmm. James Stewart, Cary Grant and Gregory Peck. What? I’m a sucker for old style movie star leading men. They don’t make them like that any more. Sigh…

And do you, in any way, think Simon Cowell will end up in my Christmas stocking(s) this year? Listen, if I can get Magic Chocolate Johhny Depp, I don’t see why not.

I’ve a SIGNED copy ( wrapped in Christmas paper AND with a bow) of ‘The Night Before Christmas’’ by Scarlett Bailey to give away. Simply leave a ‘please pick me’ comment by 3pm (GMT) December 9, then I’ll pop all names in a mug and ask a small child to select a winner. This competition is open to all.

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About the author: Scarlett Bailey has loved writing stories since childhood. Before writing her debut novel, ‘The Night Before Christmas‘. she worked as a waitress, cinema usherette and bookseller. Passionate about old movies. Scarlett loves nothing more than spending a wet Sunday afternoon watching her favourite film back-to-back with large quantities of chocolate. Currently she lives in Hertfordshire with her dog, and very large collection of beautiful shoes.

(I have 2 SIGNED sets of ‘Laugh ‘Til It Heals’ and ‘The Clue Phone’s Ringing’ to give away at the end of this post)

A Guest Post: Laugh ‘Til It Heals: Finding Humor in the Journey By Christine K. Clifford, CSP.

Cancer and divorce. Are you laughing yet? Trust me; I wasn’t either when both happened to me.

I was forty when I was diagnosed with breast cancer seventeen years ago. My mom passed from it at 42. Things were different back then: there were no pink ribbons or Cancer Survivor’s Day celebrations. Mom sank into a deep clinical depression, became a recluse and died.

When I heard I had cancer, I thought of my role model: Mom. I’d get depressed, crawl into bed, and die. That is until the night I had my “Twilight Zone” experience. Six weeks after surgery—I had already started chemotherapy and radiation treatments—I woke in the middle of the night with a vision: cartoons. Over 50 cancer-related cartoons started popping up in my head. Scribbling madly, stick-figures flying, exhausted I went upstairs and crawled back into bed.

Something changed for me that night. The next morning I headed to the book store and public library to find a humorous cancer book. The clerks at the Information Counters were not amused. “Humorous book about cancer?!? You’re sick!” (Ah-ha, another cartoon I thought.)

I started searching for signs of humor. The more I searched, the more I found. Suddenly, humor became my focus. Not “I’m going to die,” or “I’m going to crawl into bed,” but “Where are your funny movies, or do you have any new cartoon books?”

I joined organizations like the Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor and started communicating with some of the world’s leading authorities on laughter therapy. But something else happened to me, too: I survived.

I cannot pinpoint the exact moment when humor became a purposeful part of my second divorce journey. Looking back on a marriage that included domestic violence and a broken nose, severe alcoholism (his) and loss of identity (mine), there were moments so absurd, that if I couldn’t laugh about them, I’d cry.  Certainly laughter felt better than tears.

Feelings of anger, fear, denial and grief paralleled my cancer experience. The only difference was that one was a struggle for my breast. The other was a struggle for my heart.

It wasn’t easy finding humor in all  I’ve endured. But I called upon that healing power of humor that had literally saved my life years ago, and realized, “I can survive again. I can find life~ and a good life~ on the other side.”

The next time you find yourself at a fork in the road, don’t take the path of least resistance. Paths without obstacles rarely go anywhere. Instead, take the road along the cliff—the one on which you will find humor. Because I promise you this: the sheer exhilaration of the ride will fill you with more laughter, and give you even more permission to laugh harder still. And that one day, will help you survive. But every day will leave you utterly tickled pink. Don’t forget to laugh! ™

 I have 2 signed sets of ‘Laugh ‘Til It Heals’ and ‘The Clue Phone’s Ringing’ by Christine K. Clifford to give away. That’s 2 books for 2 lucky folk! Simply leave a ‘please pick me’ comment by 3pm (GMT) November 30, then I’ll pop all names in a mug and ask a small child to select 2 winners. This competition is open to all.

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About the author: Christine Clifford, CSP is CEO/President of The Cancer Club (www.cancerclub.com) and Divorcing Divas, LLC (www.divorcingdivas.net) and the author of Laugh ‘ Til It Heals: Notes from the World’s Funniest Cancer Mailbox and The Clue Phone’s Ringing… It’s for You! Healing Humor for Women Divorcing.

“Laugh ‘Til it Heals: Notes from the World’s Funniest Cancer Mailbox explores the humorous side of cancer while also providing information on how to support someone who has cancer, and giving advice regarding beneficial nutrition.  The book is also practical in citing resources created by cancer patients worldwide.

As you read these touching stories, you will laugh out loud with the storyteller. Laugh at the story of a woman chasing tumbleweed (her wig) across the parking lot on a windy day, or the woman who suffered the side effect of a powerful diuretic in public.”

 

“The Clue Phone’s Ringing… It’s For You! is a poignant book about how humour became part of Christine’s therapy as she faced her second divorce.

The Clue Phone is the phone inside your head that should set alarm bells ringing when something isn’t quite right about a situation. If only Christine had picked up the Clue Phone on one of the numerous occasions when it rang off the hook, she wouldn’t have entered into a marriage that inevitably ended in divorce.”

(To celebrate today’s launch of  ‘Home for Christmas’ I’ve a copy to give away at the end of this post)

“Beth Prince has always loved fairy tales and now, aged twenty-four, she feels like she’s finally on the verge of her own happily ever after.

She lives by the seaside, works in the Picturebox – a charming but rundown independent cinema – and has a boyfriend who’s so debonair and charming she can’t believe her luck! There’s just one problem – none of her boyfriends have ever told her they love her and it doesn’t look like Aiden’s going to say it any time soon.

Desperate to hear ‘I love you’ for the first time Beth takes matters into her own hands – and instantly wishes she hadn’t. Just when it seems like her luck can’t get any worse, bad news arrives in the devilishly handsome shape of Matt Jones. Matt is the regional director of a multiplex cinema and he’s determined to get his hands on the Picturebox by Christmas.

Can Beth keep her job, her man and her home or is her romantic-comedy life about to turn into a disaster movie?”

Well, it’s no secret (to my nearest and dearest) that I’m a lover of Christmas (I have been counting down – thanks to a phone app – since January!). And, so, at this time of year I indulge in both seasonal movies and books. And, Cally Taylor has delivered a jolly festive read, with the main character being what my girl friends and I would lovingly declare ‘one of us’.‘Home for Christmas’ is a romantic comedy that sparkles with embarrassing moments that will make those who are also ‘one of us’ nod and cringe.

A seasonal read that’s perfect for these cold winter nights. Snuggle up next to your Christmas tree, open your heart and indulge in Beth’s life. ‘Home for Christmas’ is guaranteed to make you cringe, laugh out loud and shed a tear or three.

Asking Cally:

Great title! Where did you find your inspiration to write this novel? ‘Home for Christmas’ was originally called ‘Happiness Ever After’ and it was the notion of happiness and how and where people look for it that drove me to write this novel. The main characters, Beth and Matt, are unhappy in their jobs or relationships and believe that if only X,Y,Z happened then life would be perfect. But, as we all know, life doesn’t quite work out like that!

How long did ‘Home for Christmas’ take to write? Forever! No seriously, I suffered from Second Novel Syndrome big style with this novel and everything took longer than it did with my first novel, ‘Heaven Can Wait’. The first draft of ‘Home for Christmas’ took me seven months to write, I edited it in about four months and then there was a year of rewrites before, finally, it was ready. It took about two years from start to finish which might not sound like a long time considering I’ve got a full time job too but it was double the time it took me to write ‘Heaven Can Wait’.

Tell me about the setting, about Picturebox Cinema. Does it exist in the real world? (I have a love of old cinemas) Yes it does!  There’s a lovely cinema in Brighton called ‘The Duke of York’s’ that I based the Picturebox on. Unlike the Picturebox, which is independently owned in my novel, the Duke of York’s is part of the Picturehouse chain but it’s still a fab, quirky cinema with a bar and cafe on the first floor,  a mezzanine level with sofas, a resident ghost and over 100 years of history. Unlike huge multiplexes it’s got its own individuality and charm and is one of my very favourite places in Brighton!

What advice would you have for anyone who has a partner who can’t say ‘I love you’ to them? Oooh God. Tricky question this. Like Beth in ‘Home for Christmas’ I had to wait a long time to hear ‘I love you’ for the first time. I was twenty-three before a boyfriend said it to me and the relief I felt was huge. I’d genuinely started to worry that there was something unlovable about me.

There does seem to be a time limit on when that phrase should be said and I’ve had several conversations with friends about ‘how long is too long?’ i.e. how long they’d be prepared to wait to hear ‘I love you’ before deciding the relationship was dead in the water and moving on. The general consensus seemed to be that if a partner hadn’t said it within six months then…*makes sawing motion across neck*… but every situation’s different.

The one thing I’ve learnt from relationships is that SAYING I love you is one thing and making the person FEEL loved is another. I’ve had relationships where I’ve been told ‘I love you’ and felt anything but, and been in relationships where the three little words were rarely said but my partner’s ACTIONS made me feel utterly adored and loved. I know which I prefer.

Of course there’s also the issue of what to do if a partner who used to say ‘I love you’ freely at the beginning of a relationship stops saying it several years in… but that’s a topic for another book perhaps.

Writers often find redrafting and self-editing difficult. Can you offer any words of wisdom? Put your head down and get on with it. It sounds harsh, I know, but if you want your book to be the best it can be you’ve got no choice.  If I’m being a bit more helpful, and practical, then I suggest getting out some index cards and jotting down everything you’ve got – all your scenes – and then laying them out on the floor. Pluck out the scenes that aren’t working and see what you’ve got left. Where are the gaps? How can you fill them? Brain storm.  Jig the cards around. Use the characters you’ve got and/or add new ones. In order to redraft effectively you need some kind of map (made of index cards or otherwise) to point you in the right direction or you’ll get horribly tangled up in words. The clearer you can see the solution the easier you’ll find it to write.

Can you offer any tips for people wanting to be published in the current climate? Write the book you HAVE to write but also, and this will sound like a contradiction, keep an eye on the market. If the book you feel you HAVE to write is a Young Adult vampire trilogy you may want to keep your publishing expectations low because that market is pretty much exhausted and you’d have to write something utterly AMAZING for a publisher to take a chance on you.  But don’t try and second guess the market. You might hear on the grapevine that publishers are looking for women’s fiction about the Romans (as a publisher revealed at the RNA conference this summer) and eagerly sit down and start penning one but you’re not figuring on the fact that, from first word to publication, it takes at least two years for a book to get published so you’ve probably already missed the boat. Write the novel that’s burning inside you and, if you’re lucky, you’ll find that someone out there – an agent and/or a publisher – loves it as much as you.

Who do you feel would be your ideal reader?  Someone who can still remember losing themselves in fairytales, someone who believes in happily ever after (or who likes the escapism of books about it), someone who likes to be made to laugh and cry and someone who likes to be entertained rather than have their grey matter fried by fancy language and philosophical questions!

What do you plan to write next? I’m currently taking my own advice and writing the book that I feel compelled to write (I call it Project B) even though I don’t have a publisher for it and my agent only knows the sketchiest of details about it. I’m getting a huge kick from writing something just for me that isn’t under contract. I’d love it to be published, of course I would, but that’s not why I’m writing it. I’ve also started to think about my third chick lit book and am spending time daydreaming about the main character and all the obstacles I’m going to throw at her.

What would you like for Christmas this year? Love and laughter. You can’t ask for more than that.

What are you top 3 favourite Christmas-themed films? Oooh, great question! 1: Scrooged. 2: It’s a Wonderful Life. 3: Miracle on 34^thStreet.

And, finally, (with the skillful smoothness of the finest of interviewers) do you in any way know Simon Cowell? No but I know a TV executive who works for ITV. He might know him…

I’ve a copy of ‘Home for Christmas’ by Cally Taylor to give away. Simply leave a ‘please pick me’ comment by 3pm (GMT) November 14, then I’ll pop all names in a mug and ask a small child to select a winner. This competition is open to all.

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About the author: Cally Taylor lives in Bristol with her boyfriend and their ridiculously large DVD/book/music collection. She shares her ‘study’ with the washing machine and ironing board and writes her novels in any spare moments she can squeeze in between the day job and her social network addiction . She started writing fiction in 2005 and her short stories have won several awards and been published by a variety of women’s magazines. Her debut novel ‘Heaven Can Wait’ has been translated in 13 languages and was voted ‘Debut Novel of the Year’ by chicklitreviews.com and chicklitclub.com. Home for Christmas is her second novel. You can find out more about Cally by visiting her website or blog, or by following her on Twitter and Facebook.

(I’ve got a SIGNED copy of  ‘How I Said Bah! to cancer: A Guide to Thinking, Laughing, Living and Dancing Your Way Through‘ to give a way at the end of this post)

October 2011 is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. One in every nine women in the UK will develop breast cancer at some point in her life – which means more than 45,000 cases are diagnosed each year. It has become the most common cancer in the UK, and it’s probably fair to say that we all know of someone who has or has had breast cancer. But not everyone has such a refreshing approach to talking and dancing with cancer and that’s why I am HONOURED to host Stephanie Butland today:

This book tells how one woman said ‘Bah!’ to cancer through thinking strategies, a proactive approach to treatment, and a determination to keep the rest of her life going and retain a sense of humour (most of the time!). It shares everything she learnt along the way, from the nature of cancer cells and chemotherapy drugs, to how she was able to help her friends and family to help her.

‘I was never going to die from cancer. That hard lump peeping out of the top of my bra was aggressive but it was small enough to be contained, and I was young and strong and otherwise well. All the signs were good. Words like “lucky” and “caught in time” were thrown around like rice at a wedding. No, I was never going to die from cancer. But from the beginning, I never planned simply to survive it. Oh no. I was going to say a great big Bah! to it. Please, join in. Cancer? Bah!’

Truthful, personal, funny, and above all helpful, this book is the straight-talking best friend that will help you survive your cancer journey – or support a loved one on their journey.

Unflinching, refreshing, layered with humour, with positivity and with honesty, Stephanie offers tips, advice and an utterly inspiring take on how to dance with cancer. ‘How I Said Bah! to cancer‘ deserves, needs and absolutely should be supported. It has the potential to change the way we view and treat cancer. Please, I urge you, seek this one out.

Asking Stephanie:

For me, describing you as ‘inspirational’ seems too weak a word. You’re utterly amazing. Can you tell my blog friends how your dance with cancer began? It began with a lump sticking out of the top of my bra. If it hadn’t been so close to the surface, I think I might not have found it in time. At 37 with no history of breast cancer in the family I didn’t really think I was eligible for it, and I didn’t really check my breasts properly or anything grown-up like that. But, it was a cancer, and so I had surgery, and chemotherapy, and radiotherapy, and I still take drugs, and I was so, so lucky that the cancer was caught before it had had the chance to spread further than my breast. My chances of still being alive in 2018 (10 years after diagnosis) are more than 80%, and as cancer odds go, they’re worth taking.

And, in a similar way, how would you describe cancer? A cancer is a funny little thing – it’s a cell that goes wrong and won’t stop going wrong and doesn’t even know it’s going wrong, and in that process can destroy a whole, miraculous human body.

The thing to remember about cancer, though, is that it has really great PR, because everyone who meets it is sure it means the end of them. And of course there was a time when that was more or less true. But now, cancer doesn’t mean dead. Cancer means that yes, you might die, but your chances of living are better than they’ve ever been, and if you go into the process with an open mind you might come out of the other end with a better life. I did, anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I would never have chosen my diagnosis – but there’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be than where I am now, and in a funny way, I have cancer to thank for that.

You’re a Master Trainer in de Bono Thinking methods. I’d like to know a little bit more about that, please, and how the methods helped you. Dr. Edward de Bono is the world’s leading authority on the teaching of thinking as a skill. Early in my career as a trainer, I was frustrated by the way established habits of thought stopped people from changing their behaviour, so I decided to try to find out whether it was possible to train people to think differently. Put that into Google and the first thing that comes out is de Bono, and I’ve been working with Six Thinking Hats (R) and Lateral Thinking (TM) ever since, helping teams, organisations and individuals to think more creatively and more effectively. It’s rewarding and exciting work. And doing it meant that I understood how very much what’s in your head influences your perception of the world – and if you change your perception, everything changes. That was the starting point for the way I approached cancer: how could I think differently to make my life easier? So I thought dance instead of battle. I thought of chemotherapy as particles of bouncing, happy light filling my body. I thought of long afternoons when I couldn’t do anything much as the opportunity to learn to knit socks.

And how did blogging add to your dance? The blog began as a good way to keep my friends and family informed about what I was doing and how treatment was going. But it soon became a way of processing experience, a little every day, which made cancer easier to cope with. And then, as more people started to read the blog, I realised that I could be helpful to others, and that made me feel that all those blisters from my dancing shoes were worthwhile!

So your journey from blog into publication, how did that happen? With a lot of help. First, friends and family read my first goes at writing the book, and were enthusiastic enough for me to approach some people in publishing. Then, I got great help from Nicola Morgan and Scott Pack. Then Twitter got me an agent (Ben Johncock posted the story on the October 21), and in February this year Hay House made an offer. From first pen-to-paper to book-in-hand, I think we’re probably talking 2 and a half years. Which, for publishing, is positively breakneck speed.

What would you say to someone who had recently been diagnosed with cancer? Don’t panic. Not everyone who is diagnosed with cancer dies of it.

Don’t forget you are still a whole person, you are still everything that is in your life that is not cancer, and cancer doesn’t have to define you. Let people help you. They want to. It isn’t a sign of weakness to let the people who love you show that love. Ask your medical team a lot of questions. Don’t let anything go unexplained. It’s your body, your life, and you’re entitled to ask everything you want to.

Who do you feel would be your ideal reader? Is ‘Bah!’ only for people with cancer? I think my ideal reader is probably someone who wants to understand more about cancer, and the process of cancer treatment, and has an open mind about how to approach it.  The book is as much for people who don’t have a cancer as those who do – statistically, most of us will watch someone else dance with cancer, even if we don’t do it ourselves, so the more everyone understands about the process, the better.

And, finally, (with the skillful smoothness of the finest of interviewers) do you in any way know Simon Cowell? Um. The short answer is no, but if we take the ’6 degrees of separation’ route, my daughter’s friend once auditioned for Britain’s Got Talent, though she didn’t get through, and Mr C wasn’t at those auditions, but probably someone who knew him was. So… the long answer is also no. Sorry.

I’ve a SIGNED copy of ‘How  I Said Bah! to Cancer’ by Stephanie Butland to give away. Simply leave a ‘please pick me’ comment by 3pm (GMT) October 28, then I’ll pop all names in a mug and ask a small child to select a winner. This competition is open to all.

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About the author: Stephanie Butland lives in Northumberland with her family. She writes, she trains thinking skills, and she works with individuals to help them to think more effectively. She also knits, reads, bakes, and loves the theatre and long walks on quiet beaches. Stephanie was diagnosed with a breast cancer in October 2008. Now she’s thriving. For more information please go to www.bahtocancer.com

(To celebrate today’s launch of ‘21st Century Dodos‘, I’ve got THREE dedicated copies to give away, but there’s a slight twist. May I introduce you to Mr Steve Stack…)

I have a collection of unusual books. Not that the books themselves are unusual, you understand. They are the regular oblongs of paper and card, much the same as the books you have on your shelves. No, it is something about their contents that are a trifle odd. A bit wonky, to use a phrase that Caroline likes.

You see, whenever I meet an author I ask them to write something insulting in my copy of their book. They can write anything they want, but the more insulting the better.

It all started when I went to see American satirist PJ O’Rourke at a reading in Hammersmith. After the event, people queued up to get their books signed. I was towards the end of the line and was getting a bit bored of people asking PJ to ‘sign Happy Birthday John!’ or ‘can you make it out to Jeremy?’. It was doing my nut in. I had two copies of his book to sign. One for me, and one for my flatmate Andy. By the time I got to the front of the queue I was really fed up.

“Could you sign: ‘To Andy, Fuck Off’?”

He was delighted. I think he was as bored with the niceties as I was. Here’s what he signed in my book:

Ever since then I have tried to collect as many insults as possible. I have some crackers.

John le Carre in a copy of Absolute Friends: Scott – I’ve been wanting to say this for years – FUCK OFF!

Andrew Kaufman wrote in one of my favourite books, All My Friends are Superheroes: You daft cunt!

Jackie Collins in Lovers & Players: Fuck off Scott!!! You asshole!!!

And this work of art from Audrey Niffenegger:

The Fuck Off Books, as they are known, now take up two shelves of my home library. And they are growing. It is a collection that brings me a lot of pleasure.

Which is why I want to share the love by offering to insult you in this splendid blog giveaway.

I have written a book called 21st Century Dodos. In it I attempt to pull together a list of endangered inanimate objects. It is a collection of tributes to things that are on the verge of extinction – VHS tapes, typewriters, handwritten letters, that sort of thing – things that I think deserve a good send off. I’d like to think it is destined for toilet libraries across the nation.

And I will sign and dedicate three copies of the book for readers of Caroline’s blog. But only if you let me insult you, or the intended recipient. Simply leave a comment beneath this blog post telling me what rude message you would like me to write in the book. Caroline and I will then pick the three that most appeal and their wishes will come true. This could be your chance to get the perfect Christmas present for your husband/wife/boss/teenage son.

So go for it. Do your worst. I can’t wait to read them.

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The winning comments will be selected after 3pm (GMT) October 4. This competition is open to all. And if you haven’t yet had enough of Mr Stack, then he’ll be visiting this blog tomorrow and his rather fabulous son read an extract (whilst unicycling!) over on Nik’s blog yesterday.

About the author: Steve Stack is the pen name of my lovely publisher Scott Pack. He is the author of one other book, It Is Just You, Everything’s Not Shit. He is fond of cake, female Scandinavian singer-songwriters and naps. He runs the almost famous Firestation Book Swap with novelist Marie Phillips. He is well fab.

To celebrate this week’s launch of the beautiful The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh, I’ve 3 copies to give away and all details can be found at the end of this post.

The Victorian language of flowers was used to express emotions: honeysuckle for devotion, azaleas for passion, and red roses for love. But for Victoria Jones, it has been more useful in communicating feelings like grief, mistrust and solitude. After a childhood spent in the foster care system, she is unable to get close to anybody, and her only connection to the world is through flowers and their meanings.

Now eighteen, Victoria has nowhere to go, and sleeps in a public park, where she plants a small garden of her own. When her talent is discovered by a local florist, she discovers her gift for helping others through the flowers she chooses for them. But it takes meeting a mysterious vendor at the flower market for her to realise what’s been missing in her own life, and as she starts to fall for him, she’s forced to confront a painful secret from her past, and decide whether it’s worth risking everything for a second chance at happiness.

The Language of Flowers is a heartbreaking and redemptive novel about the meaning of flowers, the meaning of family, and the meaning of love…

This stunning debut novel was the subject of a fierce 9 publisher auction and is to be published in 31 countries this year. The Language of Flowers is compelling, beautiful and, really, very special. It combines literary merit with prose that is both effortless and accessible. The theme of the Victorian language of flowers that runs throughout provides a cohesive thread, one that excited me (the rather lovely flower dictionary at the back is a delight too). I have no doubt that this novel will be absolutely adored by many.

A rather fabulous  website has been set up to mark this week’s publication of The Language of Flowers. Do pop on over and watch the stunning trailer or send a glorious virtual bouquet. You get to choose your blooms according to the language of flowers (every bloom has a corresponding emotion), then add a special message and dispatch to your loved one of choice (I’ll be expecting at least one, yes?).

I’ve 3 copies of The Language of Flowers to give away. It’s a stunning hardback to own and stroke. All you have to do is leave a ‘please pick me’ comment by 3pm (GMT) August 19, then I’ll pop all names in a mug and ask a small child to select 3 winners. This competition is open to all.

(To celebrate Julia’s new novel, The Summer Season, I’ve 3 COPIES to give away and all details can be found at the end of this post)

When Caroline kindly asked me to guest blog, she suggested I talk about motherhood and writing. Or about what inspires me. So being greedy I decided to write about both…

Considering how difficult it is to write when you have babies, it seems a bit mental to confess that I only actually started to write properly when I had two small children in the house. The main reason for this was that in my former day job as an editor of teenage fiction, I gave all my ideas away. It was by its nature such a creative job I didn’t have either the mental or emotional energy to pursue writing as an alternative career. So it was only at the point when I decided to give it all up and go freelance that it seemed like a suitable moment to have a go. But while I had never planned to be a writer, I think at heart I’ve always been one. It was just when I was growing up writing for a living wasn’t a career that occurred to me as a possibility. And I thought everyone was like me and had a constant crowd of characters jostling for position in their head. (Turns out I was wrong about that, my husband for one, thinks I’m nuts.)

What I hadn’t factored in was how incredibly difficult it was going to be writing, when I had small people to attend to. Initially I was freelancing as an editor, which paid, whereas the writing did not. So I had to shoehorn any writing I was doing into the moments when there was a pall in the freelance work. I was working two days a week, so such moments were rare. And I often found myself in the early days, on non working days, grabbing an hour and a half in the mornings when my oldest daughter was at nursery and the then baby was asleep. As a result my first manuscript (which took me a year to complete) was an utter disaster, being both rambling, unfocused and suffering badly from a very saggy middle.

It took another year to fine tune it to something like the required standard for submission to an agent, by which time I was pregnant again. My very long suffering and wonderful agent faxed me to say she wanted to take me on, the week before the baby was born. As that first ms never saw the light of day, she had to wait rather a long time for my second oeuvre…

When I got back to my desk several months later, I was now paying for a nanny to care for the children three times a week, so income was a priority once more and writing had to come very low down the food chain. As a result I kept beavering away at short things – with a background in children’s books I decided to have a go at picture books (I did get a couple published by an educational press), and some children’s fiction, at which I was unsuccessful. I also wrote some synopses and sample chapters for some new novel ideas in the vain hope that I’d be one of those lucky people you read about in The Bookseller, who get taken on on the strength of a few brilliantly written chapters. (I wasn’t).

At the point at which I’d reluctantly decided I was just going to have to bite the bullet and go for finishing another novel, regardless of lack of money and time, I fell pregnant again. It felt pretty disastrous at the time, as I was seemingly stuck in Groundhog Day and an endless cycle of a new baby appearing just as the old one started to toddle about. But from that apparent disaster, the seeds of inspiration for my next book arose. Write about what you know, they say, and it has to be said, I do know a thing or two about the trials and tribulations of bringing up a family. So I came up with a story called Coming Full Circle, about a couple who feel like they’re falling apart as they cope with the mayhem brought into their lives by the advent of children, and who learn eventually to fall in love again.

I’d like to say that THAT was the book that got me published, but that would be lying. It did, however get me some interest from an editor, who made such helpful suggestions about my writing style, and the way I structure my books, that my third book, Pastures New, eventually did get taken on, albeit by a completely different editor.

It makes a big difference, having that book deal. I used to tell people I wrote a bit, but I never told them I was a writer. First and foremost I’m a mum. I still consider that my most important job. But once I had a contract, I felt I could justify what I did. I wasn’t just playing around at it anymore, doing a bit of creative stuff on the sidelines, while my children tumbled up around me.

But, what has become no easier, since I’ve been published, is the tension between my domestic and professional lives. All my children are now at school, and in two years, I’ll finally shed the school run. So in theory, I should have plenty of time to write. Practice is rather different though. Take the term which has just finished. Although life is always mentally busy before Christmas when you have children, the summer term is the part of the year I dread the most. The children have activities on most weekends, there are school trips to go to, plays to take part in, sports days to attend. The list is endless. I  had planned to start work on my new book, in the six weeks before the summer term ended, only to lose several days to children being sick, one day for sports day, another day for open day, several taking my mother in law to various hospital appointments and so on. Net result, the book remains unstarted, though ideas are forming in my head.

And that’s where the joy of being both a mum and a writer kicks in. Because although I never have as much time as I would like to write (something I find increasingly frustrating the more I try to research material), the source of that lack of time, namely my family, are also often a source of inspiration.  I don’t have sons, but drew sitting around at the tennis club chatting with friends who do was immensely helpful when writing Strictly Love, my second book; there’s a moment in Pastures New where Amy’s son breaks his arm – as two of my children have done. Cat, the heroine of Last Christmas has four children, because I thought she needed a suitable amount of mayhem in her life, and I know a thing or two about that, and in The Summer Season, I again drew heavily on direct experience when writing about Lauren’s twin daughters.

I don’t just write about things that have happened to me of course, I draw inspiration from all sorts of things, be it gardening (Pastures New/The Summer Season), dancing, Strictly Love, Christmas, Last Christmas, and my next book, This Christmas, or weddings and friendship, The Bridesmaid Pact. But one thing I’ve learnt over the years, thanks to a combination of having four children and having been a sandwich carer for aging in laws, I do know quite a lot about modern family life and the pressures it brings on people. It’s been a deep well of inspiration, and one I shall continue to delve into. So while I sometimes think it would be great to have more time to write, or look forward to the days when my children are off my hands and I can concentrate more on my work, I have a sneaky feeling I might miss it when they do. And a fear that when they’re gone, that well of inspiration might just dry up…

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About the author: Julia Williams has always made up stories in her head, and until recently she thought everyone else did too. She grew up in London, one of eight children, including a twin sister. She married Dave, a dentist, in 1989, and they have four daughters. After the birth of the second, Julia went freelance and decided to try her hand at writing, and The Summer Season is her fifth novel.

“Passions flare, secrets unravel and love blossoms in the heart of the summer season.

As summertime flourishes, it’s time for new beginnings…

Heartsease House is in desperate need of renovation. Its owner, widower Joel, is struggling to come to terms with life as a single dad. His plans to refurbish the house and garden suddenly seem like one burden too many.

Mum to twin girls, Lauren’s life is a constant juggling act. When her ex, Troy, turns up wanting to see his daughters, she’s determined to keep her distance. But it’s a lot harder than she imagined…

Then guerrilla gardener Kezzie bursts into their lives with her infectious enthusiasm to restore the gardens. But who is Kezzie? And what is she running away from?

As the warm days of summer draw closer, Heartsease House and its beautiful love-knot garden are transformed. But will Joel, Kezzie and Lauren be able to restore their own hearts?

Kick off your sandals, enjoy a glass of rose and escape into a gorgeous novel this summer with Julia Williams.”

I’ve 3 COPIES of Julia’s latest novel The Summer Season to give away. It’s a corker summer read and her best novel yet! All you have to do is leave a ‘please pick me’ comment by 3pm (GMT) August 5, then I’ll pop all names in a mug and ask a small child to select 3 winners. This competition is open to all.

(To celebrate today’s launch of ‘Lessons in Laughing Out Loud‘, I’ve got a SIGNED copy to give away and all details can be found at the end of this post)

 Have you ever wondered what might have been…?

Willow and Holly are identical twins. They are everything to each other. Holly calls Willow her rock, her soulmate, her other half. And Willow feels the same about Holly. They are alike in every respect but one – Willow is afraid on the inside. And all because of a secret – one that binds the sisters closely together and yet has meant their lives have taken two very different paths.

Willow often feels there are large parts of her missing, qualities she only knows she’s lacking because she sees them in her sister. For a very long time Willow has felt separated from Holly by one terrible moment in time – a moment that meant Willow’s life was never the same again.

And when the past catches up with her, Willow realises its finally time for her to face her fears, and – with Holly’s help – learn to laugh out loud once more.

I’d been very much looking forward to ‘Lessons in Laughing Out Loud‘ and that always concerns me. I worry about my ridiculous expectations and about feeling disappointed. But I shouldn’t have worried. This is (and I say this EVERY time and mean it EVERY time), Rowan’s best novel yet, a novel that is perfectly balanced with both heart and humour.

‘Lessons in Laughing Out Loud‘ looks at bravery, at facing up to hidden fears and at accepting who we really are. It is about unravelling a mask, about voicing the unspoken, about self-discovery, acceptance, about loving and learning to laugh out loud. There are so many thought-provoking themes that thread together into a story that balances both emotion and humour. Rowan Coleman knows her craft. Her writing is both engaging and effortless, she’s a bestselling author for a reason.

‘Lessons in Laughing Out Loud‘ made me cry. It is a poignant, an emotionally satisfying story and an ideal summer read. I thoroughly and absolutely recommend.

Asking Rowan:

Love, love, love the title. Where did you find your inspiration for Lessons in Laughing Out Loud? As often with my books I didn’t have the title until about two thirds of the way through, and then it struck me in an flash of inspiration. It seemed to sum up Willow, my main character, a woman who doesn’t realise she’s forgotten how to laugh out loud. Also everyone who knows me knows I can’t bear the term ‘lol!’, drives me mad. I think we should all be doing more actual laughing out loud, rather than typing about it.

I wanted to know Willow, in real life, to go shopping with her and possibly out for a cup of tea with cake. How did Willow’s character develop? Did you plan out a character outline before you started writing or did she simply spring into being? The inspiration for the book came from Willow’s character first. As usual with me, I tend to find a character will come and stand at the end of my bed and look at me until I uncover their story. The more I thought about Willow, I realised she was a woman who had a past the was difficult, if not impossible to escape from, she is a survivor, but barely, her life and potential have been curtailed by past events that she has yet to truly face. She’s a strong, funny, interesting woman, but deep down inside she knows that she is the only person stopping herself from reaching her full potential, the question is will she have the strength to face the secrets that haunt her and move on?

Do you ever worry that the ideas will stop? No, funnily enough. Ideas keep coming thick and fast. What I do worry about is that no-one will let me write them down any more. I worry about that a lot. I think all writers do. Except Katie Price, she probably doesn’t.

If they do (they won’t, they won’t!), what would be your next choice of career? Professional lounger, film critic, food critic, cake critic. Professional-lounging-cake-eating-whilst-watching-films critic. That sounds about right. 

What makes you laugh out loud? Animal jokes. (What goes black, white, black white? A penguin rolling down a hill. HILARIOUS) And also genuine wit, spontaneity and a new pair of shoes.

You’re a mum of small children, you’re a prolific writer and I often burst into song with you over on Facebook. How do you juggle motherhood, social media and writing? Some might argue that my social media habit is somewhat out of hand… But honestly, I don’t have plan of how to fit it all in, I just sort of do in the end. I think that’s how most working mums do it, on a wing and prayer, with a bit of multitasking and microwaving thrown in.

What do you plan to write next? I’m working on my next novel for Arrow, about a woman running away from her failed marriage, to her father who she hasn’t seen for twenty years. Still don’t have a title for that, am thinking of throwing it open to Facebook to think of one! I also have the best BEST idea for the book after that, but I can’t tell you about it yet, you might steal it.

What is the single piece of advice you’d give to someone currently trying to find an agent/publisher? Research first. Don’t send your MS off indiscriminately. Find out who an agent already represents, and if a publisher already has someone similar to you on their list. With agents, it’s better to go with someone who is familiar with your sort of writing, with publishing you want someone who has a gap they need to fill, a list that is missing YOU.

And, just in case it has changed since I last asked (oh, come on, you’ve even married someone in the music industry!), do you in any way know Simon Cowell? Simon Cowell and I have ignored each other for several years now, I simply won’t give that man the time of day, unless he makes the first move. Then I may allow him to take me out for tea.

I’ve a SIGNED copy of ‘Lessons in Laughing Out Loud’ by Rowan Coleman to give away. Simply leave a ‘please pick me’ comment by 3pm (GMT) July 25, then I’ll pop all names in a mug and ask a small child to select a winner. This competition is open to all.

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About the author: Rowan Coleman grew up in Hertfordshire secretly longing to be a writer despite battling with dyslexia.  After graduating from university she worked in bookselling and publishing for seven years before winning Company Magazine Young Writer of the Year in 2001.  Her first novel ‘Growing Up Twice’ was published in 2002.

Rowan has gone on to write eleven novels for women including the bestseller ‘The Accidental Mother, The Baby Group’ and ‘The Accidental Wife‘ and eight novels for children and teens including the paranormal adventure novels ‘Nearly Departed‘ and ‘Immortal Remains’ under the name Rook Hasting. Her books are published around the world. She now lives in Hertfordshire with her family.

As you know I’m a Xbox Family Ambassador and this weekend I’ve a copy of ‘YourShape: Fitness Evolved’ (RRP: £39.99), the revolutionary fitness game for Kinect (for Xbox 360) to give away.

‘YourShape’s’ rather fabulous Player Projection technology (via Kinect) allows you to put your body into the game on the TV screen (and believe me, this is somewhat a shock to start with!) and I can honestly say that this game works your body. Some of you may recall my ‘no pain no gain’ tweets from a few weeks ago. I was finding it difficult to climb stairs after a rather strenuous few workouts. To say that this game worked all of my muscles is not at all a lie.

From being able to set specific fitness goals, to taking a yoga or martial arts classes, to hula-hooping, to boxing, to a personal trainer who does not let you move onto the next exercise until you’ve completed them all correctly (there are no cheats and believe me I’ve tried to find them!), this ‘game’ is quite simply the best home exercise programme I’ve ever tried.

To enter simply leave a ‘please pick me’ comment by midnight (GMT) July 3, then I’ll pop all names in a mug and ask a small child to select a winner. This competition is open to all, but hurry as it’s only open for this weekend. And, please do note that a KINECT IS REQUIRED and NOT included in this give away.

And for those who want to know a little bit more, here’s a video about ‘YourShape’ and it explains how you can download extra content for the  via XBOX Live:

(To celebrate the launch of How to Get a Grip, I’ve got a copy to give away and all details can be found at the end of this post)

Matthew Kimberley is a TERRIFYING man, there’s absolutely no other way to describe him. And the reason why he makes me quiver in my boots? Because he tells it straight, VERY straight!

With a distinct lack of psychobabble, with no chance of avoidance or any excuses to hide behind, his book, How to Get a Grip is quite simply a kick-up-the-arse, refreshingly modern approach to self-help and taking responsibility for yourself. In fact, this book promises to be the ONLY self-help book for people who HATE self-help:

“You know the key to having more energy has nothing to do with crystals and chakras and everything to do with how much sleep you get. But you still choose reruns of Desperate Housewives over a good night’s shut-eye.

You know that neglecting your friends will leave you destitute and lonely but you’re still too damn lazy to pick up the phone and get in touch.

You know you could get through your to-do list in half the time – yet you’re still stalking your ex on Facebook.

You know you need a kick up the backside – and that’s what you’ll find within the pages of this book. If you’re sick of being mollycoddled by self-help that deals in platitudes and endless steps for a new you, join How to Get a Grip in its campaign to help you get your life back on track by telling you what you already know.

Implement How to Get a Grip‘s idiot-proof instructions to morph, overnight from being a friendless, wimpy and subservient doormat, perpetually vexed by the iniquities and raw deals that life throws at you, to being a total superhero. And what’s more – you’ll have fun while you do it… “

If you’re after a gentle self-help guide that will stroke you and will offer you a box to hide in, then this is NOT the book for you. How to Get a Grip offers down to earth, pragmatic advice for a busy, modern, no-nonsense kind of lad or lass. How not to be a doormat, how to get things done, how to find a partner, embracing your hangover… it’s all in here. Easy to read, short chapters, idiot-proof instructions and the promise that you’ll end up chopping down decisions ‘like a ninja’. Oh yes, the book is terrifying good.

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And Matthew Kimberley has popped over to my blog to offer some very specific advice for my readers who are also writers, titled: How To Get A Grip’s Guide To Writing A Fucking Book…

“I heard a joke, which – with all of you being literary types – you will have heard as well.
I find it difficult to tell a joke when I can’t embellish it with facial expressions and timing. But I will try:

(Setting the scene: there are two people talking to each other, perhaps at a cocktail party in Chelsea or similar.)

“So, what do you do?”
“I’m a novelist.”
“Oh, how wonderful. Me neither.”

Ha ha.

Because you’re writing a book as well, aren’t you? Aren’t we all? Aren’t none of us?

But some people, like Caroline and Barbara Cartland and Jeffrey Archer actually *write*.

Some better than others, it’s true.

But they PRODUCE. And this is how you can do the same:

1. Commit to writing a book

Really commit, like you’d commit to hosting the World Cup, or delivering blood for transfusion. Not like you commit to weight loss or to stopping picking your navel fluff in public.

2. Learn to type

This is important. Although Dame Cartland would recline in her chaise longue and dictate her stories, off the cuff, to an army of transcriptionists, you likely won’t do that. Learning to type is to writing a book what inhibiting the gag reflex is to sword swallowers and hookers: not essential, but makes the entire process more comfortable.

It’s a skill you can pick up in under a week. Pick it up.

3. Braindump

You’ve got a thousand good ideas, no doubt. Most of them will be less good once they’re out of your head. But you won’t know that until they’re in the open.

Take a large piece of paper, set aside a couple of hours, open a bottle of wine and don’t stop with the ideas until the bottle is empty.

Repeat the next day.

Then, with all the ideas on paper, you can start the foraging for the one or two decent thoughts to start shaping your bestseller.

4. Plan

It’s not sexy, it’s not romantic and it contradicts the idea of the writer as an artist. But planning provides structure, and structure stops you from shaking.

Sketch up an outline, or a storyboard. Know what happens in each chapter before you write it. Your improvisational skills are not great.

This also has the added benefit of making a large task a series of smaller tasks. And we can all handle smaller tasks.

5. Write

Write. Every day. Squeeze out 1000 words per day and you’ll have a first draft in under two months. If you can manage 2000 words, you’ll have a first draft in three weeks. This is why you need to be able to type.

I tried to stick to 4000 words a day when I wrote How to Get a Grip. I didn’t always achieve it, but it meant that even a bad day was a good day.

Don’t worry about the words you write. Don’t worry if they make sense. Don’t edit at the same time you write. Just write.

6. Edit

Do this bit sober. Don’t do it the same day that you’re writing.

You will need longer than you think for this. Allow plenty of time.

7. Decide that what you’ve written is utter rubbish, bin it, and start all over again.

Don’t beat yourself up. This is an obligatory stage in the whole book-writing process.

8. That’s it. Untold riches will follow.

You’re welcome.

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I’ve a copy of How to Get a Grip by Matthew Kimberley to give away. Simply leave a ‘please pick me’ comment by 3pm (GMT) May 5, then I’ll pop all names in a mug and ask a small child to select a winner. This competition is open to all.

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About the author: Matthew Kimberley is the author of How to Get a Grip – the last self-help guide you’ll ever need. Buy four copies.